Time For Bed

You closed your eyes and went to sleep
no questions asked or queries placed
with sudden ease your world fell still
and all around the sky fell down

sudden though this moment came
we held our strength through shards of tears
while angels hang their heads in grief
resolute are we, resistant victims

the sound of your blood softer became
veins that emptied with calm acceptance
and hands that held you lifelong near
now grasped the palms of broken hearts

You closed your eyes and went to sleep
that's what you did the day we wept
your beckoning calls, a better place
sleep tight if you may
with us by your side.


Rest in peace Uncle Bryan 1958-2012, say hello to everyone for me up there.  Know how loved you were; the kindest most sincere soul xxx

Bruised

You'll find my heart got heavy
if you take the time to see
you'll find the air has left my chest
so hurtful now to breathe
The birdsong heard has ceased its tune
a moment to reflect
no way to run from this, the truth
denial so bereft
When tongues have failed
and utterance strayed
the gesture came to hold
but only there behind the eyes
the pain of this is told

Flutterbye

If I had wings
No obstacle would stop my aim for a thousand things
Where the blackness envelops
and the chill consumes
No words substitute my peace for glooms

If time undid
No chances nail down a coffin lid
Where memories stray
and hurt unbinds
No clouds to cover my loving shrines

If circumstance fell fair
Nothing on earth halts footfall there
But the seconds ceased
and the breath depleted
No comfort where hope sits still depleted

If I had flight
I'd soar to there and grasp you tight
If I had wings
The clouds would lose their brightest Angel <3

Jelly Belly

If I prod it, it feels kind of squishy....if I press my hand flat against it, it feels firm.  There are the faintest marks around the sides of it where the skin stretched to accommodate human beings, although those scars are quite insignificant.  If I look at it front ways in a mirror, it looks flabby and unattractive, yet if I turn sideways and breathe in a little I can accept it just about.  It has a dreadful scar at the centre, where a piercing once made it look much prettier.  At the lower part of it, there is a huge scar where surgeons sliced it open to reach inside and bring new life.  When I was a small child, it was so small it had me hospitalised from its reluctance to accept food.....and when I was a teenager it was very slender and taut.  At four points in its lifespan it has housed amazing people, which it grew for and protected in a proud and ceremonial fashion.  When it shrank, it became hard and muscular and a trophy to its wearer. 

Last week it was referred to as fat.

Last week it was referred to as round.

On this day it has been referred to as 'unfit'

I think my tummy is possibly the most revolting thing I've ever seen, as I do the rest of my body.  However, I'm glad to be breathing, living and loving and the size/shape/attractiveness of my body should be irrelevant really.  Having never considered myself fat, I am this week having a rethink and contemplating whether or not to absorb the nonsense like every other vulnerable soul, or just have a cream cake and pray that you like me anyway....