Deny deny deny

My daughter asked me today 'Mummy which princess do you like best? Which one would you be?'. It wasn't a difficult question; after all, all women aspire to be princesses don't they? I chose Ariel, the little mermaid, purely for the use of a tail. I remember as a child fantasising about how amazing it must be to glide through the water with my shimmering gills and my cute little shell top, hair glistening through the waves.... But they aren't real are they, princesses? In a way they represent much that's wrong with the world: false expectations, enhanced beauty, rags to riches and an insane desire to be rescued by a man with a sword! The reality is far removed. What if Cinderella had been gay? I'd have liked to have seen the look on Prince Charming's face as he danced at the ball with her in her hoody and jeans (don't you know fairy tales are very un-pc?). See this is a problem for me. I'm guilty of calling my children princesses and guilty sometimes of dreaming that happy ending. Problem comes when I remember that I'm not beautiful, nor rich or talented, nor popular and charming. I'm the bisexual girl with the tattoos and a fetish for welsh rock Gods. I just don't fit. In my life there have been fairy tale moments; the day I gave birth, got married.... The day I met my ex girlfriend over a bar with a hangover! Who says romance is dead? Thing is, these fairy tale moments only exist briefly, they are marred by the daily grind- tarnished by the essential mundane. If someone had told me that at the age of 31 I'd be a single parent of four children, I'd have eaten that poisoned apple voluntarily!! I have no idea what possible point I am aspiring to make with these musings, I might add. I live my life and love it to the core! It's not the castle and unicorns I wrote on my career plan, but it is wholesome and true in many a way. There are dragons in the form of mothers who know best and knights in the form of best mates called Cookie: there are dwarves in the form of four little girls and glass slippers which bear an uncanny resemblance to Dr Marten boots. I got to thinking all this recently when I was having a down day and being a misery guts led me to challenge my own thoughts. See the thing I figured out recently which has disturbed me in a way, is that prince charming DOES exist (I know, I couldn't believe it myself!). He's stubborn, confusing, abrupt, overtly honest and utterly exasperating....but I knew it was him as soon as I saw him! It'd be a huge lowering of standards for him to kiss a toad - but I've got to believe in it now that there's hope after all, haven't I?